IVF (in vitro fertilisation)

Moved this to the right thread so we could get this topic going.

potooo wrote:Hi! If it's not too personal a question, did you use reciprocal IVF (where your partner is the egg donor), or traditional IVF (where the carrying mother is the egg donor)? Part of me really wants to do reciprocal IVF (my wife donating the egg, me carrying) if our whole ICI thing doesn't work out, but it would cost us $20,000 out of pocket, so it would definitely be a last resort kind of thing.

I would've loved to have been able to afford reciprocal IVF (with my egg and my wife carrying) but the success rate paired with the cost (even if it didn't take) didn't sound too promising. Both our brothers agreed to be donors but I have no desire to carry myself so a dream result would've been her brother's sperm, my egg and she'd carry. But yeah, like you said, it's a LOT of money even if it doesn't work.

I'd like to know if anyone's done it and how they went. Hopefully we'll get more users on here soon to discuss!

We went down the traditional IVF route. We did try IUI twice but due to a very low ovarian reserve, we decided that IVF was going to be a better option for us. We considered reciprocal IVF but only as a last resort in the case that my eggs wouldn't be viable. I fell pregnant on the first embryo transfer though so we didn't need to worry about spending $20,000 out of pocket. Another reason we were hopeful that my eggs would work is that with reciprocal IVF you need to store the frozen embryos for 6 months before doing a transfer (unsure why) whereas with my own eggs there was no waiting period so we could go ahead and do a fresh transfer straight away. Also we were eligible for the medicare rebate on our IVF costs due to the 2 failed IUI attempts This was because I was then classified as 'infertile' as opposed to 'socially infertile'. It brought our IVF costs down from approx $14,000 to approx $6000. If we had of gone with reciprocal IVF we wouldn't have been eligible for any medicare rebates.

Hi everyone, I just became a member because I'm excited there is firstly this forum and secondly there is a conversation about reciprocal IVF.

My partner and I are currently on the journey of trying to conceive via reciprocal IVF (our fertility clinic calls it egg sharing for same sex couples).

So far at our journey we have done tests on both our bloods and scans etc. My partner is older so we wanted to use her eggs first. She doesn't desire carrying a pregnancy and I would love nothing more. So it wasn't a big question of who would do it... It was just more a matter if our tests came back ok and we wouldn't have to rob a bank to do so! We really wanted to go down this route so expected to be out of pocket $15,000. (And that's if we conceived first go).

My partners tests came back with low AMH and with some of her history it actually allowed some of her IVF costs to be covered by Medicare. So for her round of treatment it's about $6500 out of pocket opposed to $11,700. (Including donor / hosp fees). For my procedure to recieve the embryo, we will have a FET which is out of pocket about $3000 as there is no Medicare rebate based on my results. NOTE- my mind is a mess of dollar signs and figures at the moment so this is a rough guide.

We've chosen our donor after being on the waitlist for 2 months. I hear it's about 8-10 months wait for IUI and 3-4 months wait for IVF/ICSI. We were at the top of the list much sooner as we completed our necessary things rather quickly. So it pays to update the donor team of your status as you move through things.

At the end of this month we start... Waiting for AF to arrive and then pick up all the meds. She will do the necessary injections and be monitored for the right time to undergo egg collection, based on how she responds to treatment. Any embryos created will be frozen and transferred into me at my next cycle (early/mid July).

Happy to answer any q's and will keep you posted on our progress! I'm so happy that this way of conceiving is being spoken about and have struggled to find anyone to chat to on regular fertility forums.

Blayzer x

Part of me still kind of secretly wishes that we'll go down that road, just because I've always wanted to be pregnant, but I want to raise a kid that's genetically related to my wife even more. The reciprocal IVF stories I've read about, like on Mombian, in the Getting Pregnant with Michelle Tea series on XOJane, and in the Queer Baby Mama series on Autostraddle have all made me really wistful about it. Just the idea of carrying my wife's kid in my body... Man. It'd be so great. But at the same time I really am hoping that our ICI attempt worked, because I think the process of IVF would probably be pretty hard on my wife, both the hormones themselves and the medical invasiveness of it all, not to mention the money we'd have to spend (since it would definitely not be covered by our insurance). It's still a remote possibility down the line if our three months of ICI and three months of IUI don't work, but I've tried very hard not to dwell too much on it.

we picked up our meds yesterday for our first IVF cycle. My partner starts her injections tonight!

Any advice?

That's so exciting!!! Please keep us posted! I'm particularly interested to hear about emotional effects of the drugs. I've heard they can do a doozy on a person's mood and equilibrium.

Will definitely keep you updated!

I've heard there's a bit of an indicator in how you will respond to meds by looking at mood in the lead up to AF.
My partner gets basically no mood differences leading up to AF, so we hope she won't be impacted too greatly by the meds. Even if she does, I can handle it for 2 weeks

I think you're pretty spot. My response to the meds was just an exaggerated version of my mood leading up to AF. Will she just be on a regular dosage? If so, I'm sure she will be fine! I was put on the highest Gonal F dosage possible (the whole bloody pen at once) and even then I didn't find that my mood was TOO crazy. Good luck!

Wow the whole pen! She's on 300 of gonal F. No symptoms so far... First blood test this Sunday to see how she has responded.

Ladyladybaby wrote:I think you're pretty spot. My response to the meds was just an exaggerated version of my mood leading up to AF. Will she just be on a regular dosage? If so, I'm sure she will be fine! I was put on the highest Gonal F dosage possible (the whole bloody pen at once) and even then I didn't find that my mood was TOO crazy. Good luck!

Ladyladybaby, it's probably not something you can remember but I'd thought I'd ask incase... Do you remember the hormone levels in your blood as you progressed through your cycle? And how many follicles you had?

We had our first blood monitoring test today and the nurse said my partner had responded excellently with the hormone level at 1500. First scan tomorrow.

Egg collection tomorrow! FS & team are happy with partner's progress and we're seeing about 6 good sized follicles. They said that was a good result considering my partner has low AMH.

Fingers crossed for some healthy eggs!

So exciting! Good luck and best wishes for a fruitful and painless procedure!

Update: DP underwent her EC and we had 6 eggs, 4 of which were mature for ICSI. One fertilised abnormally, one normally, and two they weren't sure about. By day 3, they could see one tracking well as a grade A, two that weren't expected to make it to day 5. Got told today one had reached a full blastocyst and is suitable for freezing.

I will have a FET later this month.

What a roller coaster it has been. We are hopeful for our one little blast to enjoy my uterus for the next 9 months.

That is so awesome!

Is there a reason why they chose to freeze the embryo and implant it later this month? I thought I read somewhere that they usually liked to do fresh embryo transfer if possible, and even that IVF can have a better success rate if the genetic parent is different from the gestational parent, because the hormones used to cause ovulation can sometimes interfere with the hormones used to build up a good uterine lining. Or was I misinformed?

We are egg sharing so it was my partners egg and I'm carrying it, but I'm not ready yet in my cycle. So when my cycle has caught up, they'll transfer it to me. We could have synced our cycles but that involved a whole lot more drugs.

[accidental double post]

Oh! That makes sense. For some reason I thought that the drug-induced cycle syncing was mandatory. Cool to know it's not!

So I am 7days past my 5day transfer... I did a home pregnancy test this morning and it's positive. It's very early days but over the moon!

Wow wow wow!!! Congratulations! :'D

So happy to find this forum. My wife and I are likely going to venture down the reciprocal IVF path soon. We've tried five cycles of IUI, it hasn't worked yet, and we love the idea of both having a biological connection to our children.

Our doctor has recommended trying to synchronize our cycles, but for various reasons we're much more inclined to not use drugs to synchronize. We would love to learn more about people's experiences who have not synchronized -- and just people's paths generally.

Thanks!

Yeah, that idea of both of us having a biological connection, where no one could say "but which is your REAL mom", makes me kind of wistful. Of course I'll be thrilled if my wife is actually pregnant from our third round of ICI, but there's a tiny part of me that wouldn't be at all sad if I wound up carrying the baby. (I know it would make my wife sad, though, so it's not something I'm actively hoping for.)

Please keep us posted with the details of your IVF! I'd love to hear everything that you're comfortable sharing with us!