Planning another baby

Just curious as to how any kids everyone plans to have and what sort of age gap? Oscar is only 8 months old and we don't plan on trying for the next one until he is around 3 or 4. Some people have told us that it's too big an age gap though.

Ideally we'd like to have two. I probably would want to have them within 3 years of each other. I feel it would be nice for them to grow up relatively close in age.

In saying that, there is an 18 yr age gap between me and my youngest brother. And whilst our relationship is different to what my other siblings and I had growing up, I cherish it in a different way.

I think it should be a decision made by what suits your circumstances and short term / long term goals. What works for one may not work for another.

We would like to have 2 kids in total as well. I can see the positives and negatives to both a small age gap and a bigger one. I feel selfish saying it but I just don't think I could handle having 2 kids under two! Looking after 1 is hard enough for us right now. In saying that I can see the benefits of having 2 kids close in age growing up.

We figure that if we plan to try for the next one when Oscar is around 3, then he will almost be starting preschool by the time the second baby comes along. He will be a little more mature to handle having a baby around the house and it might make things a bit easier. Sounds good in theory right? Haha. I also love the idea of being able to have so much one on one time with Oscar during his first few years of life.

I totally see it how you do about the starting preschool and being a little older to adapt to having a sibling. It would be nice to have some one on one time with the second child whilst the older one is at preschool too.

Working as a Nanny, the day we have a child of our own, I will be able to care for them and my charge together. I guess that will give me some insight as to whether I could do it with two of our own close in age.

I have an amazing admiration for those that are parents to twins or children very close in age!

I think we just want one. My wife was an only child, I was functionally an only child (my brothers are 16 and 18 years older than me and were pretty much out of the house by the time I was born), we live in New York City with its ludicrously high rental prices, so if we did have more than one, they'd have to share a room, plus I think my wife and I just interact better one-on-one than with several kids at a time. The thought of refereeing between rival siblings is one of the few big parenting challenges that makes me want to ride off on the nopetopus. Plus we'll both be over 35 by the time the kid is born. I think just one will do us nicely.

I'm not sure about age gaps as I think we will know once we are thrown into parenthood and how we are coping/what suits us but we are thinking four.

I worked for a same-sex couple for 3 years and when I started I had a three month, four month and two 3 year olds!! (One mum stayed home with me for 3 months) It was mental...but my partner and I would never get pregnant at the same time or have such small age gaps.

So i guess we would just see how we go. In our minds we think four but we could be one and dooooone!

Silas is only 12 weeks old right now but before he was born Cadence and I both planned on definitely having more than one and didn't want a big age gap. But now that we have a baby who refuses to nap about 80% of the time (plus a very hard birth) it's started to sink in that having more than one of these critters under 5 at the same time would be pretty... hard.

I guess we'll see..

I think I'd like a 3+ year gap. That way we won't have two in childcare at the same time, and hopefully not two in nappies at the same time (at least for long). Plus the older child has the ability to understand the change a little. Like Cec said, we'll see!